Lazy?

Just been having a conversation about ME and being thought to be lazy reminded me of this that I wrote years ago and still holds true.  My life is different in some ways now as this was written before I had Emily and I do have help in the house now, but I don’t have help with Emily (I did when she was younger) and I feel I miss out on doing so many things with her because I have used my energy doing every day things or because I am not well enough, strong enough to do what she wants me to do, just being around her is often exhausting as she is full of energy, very lively and noisy.

I’m NOT Lazy
Why does everyone assume that I am lazy or can’t be bothered to do things?

If only they knew what I would like to do, but don’t do because I am not able, not just because I don’t want to.

I’d love to be able to walk for miles, go swimming, have a night out, do my own shopping, go to work, drive my car or clean my house.  None of theses things are special they are every day things to most people, but for me they take a lot of effort and cannot be managed every day.  People do not seem to be able to accept that I am ill and not able to do the every day things they can do.

If I try to lead a ‘normal’ life, eg. walking, shopping, cleaning, I suffer with fatigue, pain, dizziness, headaches, sore throat and many other symptoms too numerous to list.  I need regular rest and to go to bed early, this is not being lazy it is how I survive.

I am not a lazy person, before I was ill, I never sat still!!  I would like nothing more than to be able to keep busy all day long, it is so boring not being able to do things and is very frustrating.  I watch the dust piling up and the ironing that needs doing.  I hope for a good day to get things done, but know if I do them I will feel really ill again afterwards.  People do not realise when they see my un-cleaned house or pots waiting to be washed, that I do not leave them because I’d rather be doing something else; I have to leave it because I do not have the energy tackle it.

When I tell people I do not work, they assume it is my choice, and that I want to sit about at home all and they envy me.  If only they knew how desperate I am to work, to earn some money, make some friends and feel I can do something.

I am not lazy, I just have ME.

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