Emily Catherine Shaw

Born 5th February 2007 at 23:20, weighing 5lb 8oz


Emily just minutes old.


Emily with her grandma Elaine (one day old).


Emily with, mum, Jane (one day old).


Emily with her grandpa Colin (one day old).


Emily with her grandma Pam (one day old).


Emily with, dad, Rob (three days old).


Emily on Jane's knee (ten days old).


Emily with her great grandma (eight days old).


Emily with her cousin Benjamin (nineteen days old).


Emily with her great grandma and granddad (twenty days old).

 

Birth Story

 

Our baby was due on February 20th, so when I started with pains in the early hours of February 5th I thought little of them, took some paracetamol and tried to go back to sleep.  Around 3am I had a show and was in quite a lot of pain, Rob got up and made us a drink and then we laid in bed talking for a while before drifting back to sleep.  
 
When it was time for Rob to go to work we decided it was fine for him to go as nothing was going to happen despite the pains.  He got to work around 9.30 and by 10am I was on the phone asking him to come back home as I was bleeding.  He rang a little while later to say he was just leaving and at the same moment my waters broke!!
 
I rang the delivery suite where I was due to give birth to say my waters had broken and to ask them what I should do.  They informed they were full and not taking any admissions so I should ring the other hospital and get them to see me.  I did this and they said they would ring me back to tell me when to go in.  They rang back a couple of hours later to say the original unit was now taking admissions again and to go to them.  The pains were getting worse during this time, but I still did not think I was going to have the baby!  It was bad timing as my grandma was being discharged from hospital that day after 12 weeks and my mum one of my birth partners was supposed to be there for her and seeing the social workers etc when she got home.  Rob kept ringing her to update her, but telling her there was no need to come up.
 
I got to the hospital about 2 o’clock; my contractions were 12 mins apart at this stage and very strong.  After monitoring me for about and hour and half they decided I was not in established labour and told me to go home and have a bath and gave me an appointment to return on Wednesday morning to be induced as they could not let me go longer than this with my waters having broken.
 
On arriving home the contractions were about 5 mins apart, so I decided to try a bath, this did not really help and I decided to get out, as I got out I was violently sick and doubled up in pain.  Rob thought we had better have something to eat so went to prepare something, but I was in so much pain I could not even sit down, so was on hands and knees in on the living room floor and still being sick!!  Rob gave up on food and bundled me into the car to go back to the hospital.  The contractions were now constant and I could not sit so was propped up on hands and knees in the back of the car, still being sick!!
 
On the way out Rob managed to grab a box of food, ring my mum and drop a key off with the neighbour to feed Timmy!  I have never known him be so organised, normally he is lucky to remember anything, still forgot the camera though as we always do when we need it.
 
When we got to the hospital I still could not sit, so was on my knees in my wheelchair, it was less than two hours since we had left the hospital.  This time I was taken straight into a delivery room.  They wanted to attach a monitor to me to check out the baby, but I was in so much pain I kept pushing them away and telling them not to touch me.  Eventually they got the monitor attached, but I could not stand lying on my back the pain was easier to bear if I was on my knees and I was still being sick too.  They asked if I wanted some pain relief, stupid question!!  But then they noticed the babies heart rate was dropping with the contractions and not recovering as fast as it should so they could not give me morphine, all they could offer me was an epidural, but they did not think I would be able to stay still enough for them to administer it.  They were also trying examine me, and finally discovered I was 5 cms dilated and said I was now in established labour, well I could have told them that I was!!!  Sometime during all this my mum arrived; she says I was on my knees and being rather stroppy with everyone! I remember I kept saying sorry to everyone.  
An anaesthetist arrived and said they would give me a spinal anaesthetic as this acted quicker than an epidural, but would only last for about 30 mins, but I needed to be very still despite the pain, so that’s what they did.  I never felt it go in or anything, but the relief was magic!  He then put in place the stuff needed for the epidural which could then be started as soon as the spinal anaesthetic wore off as it did about 30 mins later.  Once I was comfy I asked what time it was as the clock was behind me, mum said it was 8 o’clock.
 
Once the anaesthetic was working they were better able to examine me and attach a monitor to baby’s head, it kept falling off before as I could not keep still.  They were still worried about baby’s heart rate and decided to take blood samples from her head to check blood oxygen.  Most of the time there were four drs and a midwife in the room.  I kept asking them not to hurt my baby.  After the blood was checked and was ok they examined me again and said I was 10 cms dilated, this was about 10pm, they said I could begin to push in an hour and to get some rest. I did not get any rest as in less than half an hour they decided that they needed to get the baby out, this required an episiotomy and venthouse.

Once the venthouse suction cap was in place I was told to push and the baby’s head was delivered, the cord was round its neck so the dr had to spend time gently removing it, once this was done I was told to push again and the rest of the baby was quickly delivered.  We were shown that we had a little girl; she was then taken cross the room to be checked out.  She never cried, but they assured us she was fine, she was quite alert with her eyes open and looking round.
 
Emily Catherine was born at 11.20 pm, weighing 5lb 8 ozs.
 
Some time later the placenta was delivered and then I was stitched, then we were left to have some time with our baby before I was transferred to the post natal ward.
 
Before I left delivery suite one of the drs came to say she was sorry that things happened the way they did and that they had not been able to do what I had asked for in my birth plan.  I really did not mind as the main priority was to get Emily out safely.  The staff had kept us informed throughout and the atmosphere was very calm despite the problems.  
 
We were kept in hospital for 3 days and discharged home on Rob’s 30th birthday.  

 

Pat’s Poem for Emily

 

A big warm welcome

To Emily Shaw

From frosty beginnings

Who could have asked more

Than ten tiny fingers

And ten perfect toes,

A mop of dark hair

And a mouth that shows

Such promise of smiles

And laughter to come –

A love-gift from heaven

For Dad

And for Mum.

 

(copyright Pat Wray 2007)

 

 

Some background and progress up to June 2007

 

Deciding to try for a baby was a long and hard decision for us; we did not know how we would cope with the demands of a child with my ME or how we would manage financially if Rob had to cut his hours at work.  After a lot of discussions, tears and waiting we decided that we would try, my health was not getting any better and my age was increasing.

 

Sadly we were not successful and were referred for fertility testing which was not conclusive, but we were told that we would need IVF treatment and were put on the waiting list at St James’s.  We had our first cycle in October 2005, but it failed.  Our next cycle was in May 2006 and we got a positive test result on my 35th birthday!

 

The first weeks of pregnancy were very difficult, partly due to the effects of the IVF drugs and the extra demands on my body.  It took until mid September for me to feel brighter and stronger.

 

In November Rob was taken critically ill and rushed to hospital with a pituitary tumour.  The following day I became totally paralysed and also ended up in hospital.  We think my paralysis was an extreme ME reaction brought on by the shock and not have had anything to eat.  In hospital I was put on a drip and the paralysis slowly wore off.  I was in hospital a week as I was unable to look after myself at home.  Rob was in hospital for 2 weeks and had surgery to remove the tumour.

 

Following this Rob was off work for several weeks and things began to settle down a bit and we began to look forward to the birth of our baby, but another shock hit 4 days before Christmas when we were told that the tumour, malignant, but it was so rare they did not know exactly what it was.

 

Following this I was totally exhausted and did not feel I had any energy at all, I kept wanting to rest, but there was so much going on it was impossible.

 

Our baby was due on February 20th, so when I started with pains in the early hours of February 5th I thought little of them, took some paracetamol and tried to go back to sleep. 

 

Emily Catherine was born at 11.20 pm, weighing 5lb 8ozs.

 

We were kept in hospital for 3 days and discharged home on Rob’s 30th birthday.

 

My ME is not as bad as I expected, my body is running on adrenaline and breastfeeding hormones at the moment; not sure what will happen once they fizzle out!  I am having problems with pain from holding and carrying Emily, will have to find better way to do this now she is getting bigger.  I am also doing more walking as it is impossible to use a wheelchair and a pushchair when we go out, so we usually use the pushchair and I push it and use it for support!  We have managed trips out with the wheelchair and Emily in a sling or sitting on my knee.  We don't get out much as it takes so long to get ready and feeding still takes up a lot of time.  During pregnancy my food intolerances eased up a bit, but they are now back so it’s difficult to find things to eat especially as I am more hungry with the extra energy I am using.  I am not able to get much rest when I am on my own with Emily, as even when she is asleep there is so much to do, so I do get very tired and feel dizzy and sick.  I was having carers in whilst I was pregnant, but the only service they could offer was to help me bath and get dressed, which was great, but now it’s not practical as I cannot just dump Emily when they arrive.  I have had another assessment and they said they appreciate the case, but it is unusual and they are not sure if they can help, I am still waiting to see if they are going to offer anything or leave us to it.  We have asked for direct payments so we can buy the help we need ourselves, but they are not sure if the payments can be used for what we want them for and you have to prove what the money is spent on.  We have got by with the help of a few local friends who take it in turns a couple of afternoons a week to come and sit with Emily whilst Rob and I have a rest.

 

Emily is now 19 weeks old (at 18th June), I don't know where the time has gone to, it’s mainly been taken up with feeding and washing!  Her first month was quite difficult as she had problems with feeding and lost quite a lot of weight which concerned the health visitors and midwives as she was so little to start with.  She began her second month by putting on 9ozs in a week (the average gain is 6oz a week) and feed well making up for lost time.  We had to get her premature baby clothes and she took a long time to grow out of some of them. At her last weigh in on June 2nd she was 10lb 1oz and is now just into 0-3 month sized clothes.  Luckily for us she has always slept well at night.  For the first month she woke once in the night and after that she has always slept through the night and can sleep up to 10 hours.  She does not really sleep in the daytime though, just little cat naps, but that is bearable having had a good nights sleep.

 

Rob's radiotherapy treatment began in April; it was 5 days a week for 6 weeks.  It was very time consuming as it involved roughly 2 hours travelling each day plus an hour at the hospital.  The treatment finished on June 1st, but he is still off sick from work.  The side effects, mainly tiredness can last for several weeks after the treatment, he is hoping to go back to work in July.  Having had so much time off he has a lot of holiday accrued so will be working 4 days a week for a while to be there for Emily and me, this will be a great help as by then she will be getting mobile and therefore more demanding for me.  It will be October before we know if the radiotherapy has been successful, but Rob is much better and now able to help a lot more with Emily.

 

We are now hoping for a bit of peace and quiet and time to appreciate Emily.  Having Emily has really helped us get through though, she is a very easy baby and laughs and smiles a lot so it’s hard to be down or feel sorry for ourselves.  She is very alert and very vocal and often sounds like a strangled cat!

 
 We have started going to baby massage. We all enjoy it, but I am glad Rob can go with me as I would never have managed on my own.  I feel a bit sorry for him as he was the only dad and you are only supposed to have one person with the baby, but our HV said it would be ok for both of us to go in the circumstances and he gets to spend time in a room full of women!  Emily seems to
like it; she chatters and giggles which is a bit embarrassing when the instructor is talking!!  Emily is the oldest baby in the group as we were supposed to go in April, but had to postpone, but she is still one of the smallest there, babies half her age are bigger.

 

If anyone wants to chat about anything related to ME and its effects during pregnancy, birth, childcare or IVF please feel free to get in touch at jane.shaw.uk@gmail.com

 

 

Due to looking after Emily and continuing health problems for us all we have not had chance to keep this site up to date, but photos of Emily's progress are regularly added to our online photo album