Oh Joy

Well it appears I have an ear infection and inflamed ear canal, so have anti biotics and ear drops, lovely!  I am worn out, but cannot rest as my heart is pounding and despite being so tired am restless and in pain.

Fed up of being messed about.  for several years we have had someone to cut the grass as Rob does not get the time to do it with working full time and caring for me and Emily.  The grass cutters have not been for a few weeks so got Rob to ring them.  He said oh, we are not doing it any more, great something else to sort out and meanwhile the garden looks a mess.  Its annoying that we have to pay out for things that other people get done easily themselves, but then when they let us down its even more so.

Not sure what PA has been doing today either, I left the ironing out and she seems to have ignored it, so now I have to make sure Emily has uniform ready for next week and iron some for her, why do I bother paying people, but I guess its my fault for not specifically asking for it to be done, but it is usually done on Thurs or Fri.

Its now the end of the school holidays and I feel like I have not seen much of Emily, just spend time getting her ready to do things with other people, no one helps me to do things with her, its very annoying.  Don’t think Emily minds much as she gets spoilt, but I am the one she gets nagged by and who does all the boring stuff. I also feel like all my energy is used up by daily routine and there is nothing left for fun or Emily

Don’t know what to do now, would like a bath but feeling too dizzy and in house on my own, so not a good idea.

Oh well such is life, should not let it get me down, life is too short to be miserable and for regrets.

Can’t believe it is June 1st tomorrow, I daren’t look at the calender it is so hectic and not sure how I will manage, I know I will end up cancelling things and letting people down, just to be able to exist and its always the pleasurable stuff that has to go, not the daily grind.  It’s my birthday in 17 days, another year older and not much to celebrate.  Its my wedding anniversary and Father’s day the same day and we do have plans, just hope I can manage it. We make such a big thing of kids birthdays they are rather disappointing as you get older and no one even seems to notice.

Well my baby is back now so will go and see if I can get her to do something nice.

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