Losing Confidence, De cluttering etc

My head is not in a good place at the moment and it is not helping with my craft projects.  I am very restless and finding it difficult to concentrate or physically do the tasks I want to do.  I have lots of ideas and projects I want to do; start and finish.  Due to difficulties and recent experiences my confidence is lacking and making doing anything much harder.  My quilting is not going well and I do not have the finesse needed to make my projects go well and it puts me off.  Emily is wearing a cardigan I knitted today, but all I can see is the faults with it, the picking up is poor and there are several holes and the border does not lie flat (picture of pattern) and I am very disappointed with it.  I am still knitting the waistcoat for myself, but the edges aren’t neat and I know it will not sew up well, but I can’t afford to abandon it 🙁  I always seem to lack finesse with anything and things end up looking like they were made by a school child rather than the beautiful item it should be.  I keep telling Emily that to do things you have to work hard and practice, but I am getting fed up of trying.

All I seem to do is sit at the computer or browse shops looking at ideas and components, but that’s as far as many of them go, or I try something and it does not work out as I envisaged.  I always feel that I can do exactly the same project as someone else and their end product is much better and more professional.

Another reason for my difficulty is that it is so hard to find things, due to lack of storage space and organisation and far too much junk.  I want to have a good clear out, not just of craft things, but books clothes etc so we can begin to see the wood for the trees.  Problem is there is so little time and energy for things like that and what do I do with the stuff sorted out before I can get rid of it.  We send a lot of stuff to charity shops, but I really want to see something for my effort so would like to do a table top sale and then be able to put the money towards something nice for us all.  To clear out I need help and time and Rob works full time and uses much of his leave helping with other things.  We are usually busy with something at weekends and there is about half an hour from Emily going to bed until I need to go to bed.

Its been a difficult week this week with many things that are adding to my feeling unsettle and focus and motivation.  Emily had 2 days off sick, she is also being bullied, it was the 2nd anniversary of my cousins tragic death, my Dad was discharged home, Rob had a wisdom tooth removed and today would have been my Grandad’s 94th birthday. There always seems so many things to deal with and I don’t think I resolve things very well.  I had a chat with a friend the other day about the bullying which was helpful, but things are still not resolved and I worry about it a lot and have been getting very panicky.

Well the distraction continues I was supposed to cover the meat that is cooking and put the oven on to a lower temperature.  Covered the meat and turned the oven off!!!  Thankfully realised after not too long and tea should still be on time.  Wonder if I am safe to be left in charge?!

I realised last night, when I could not sleep, that it is quilting on Friday and as ever I have not done anything since last time, oh dear, will be busy this week.

Had a trip to Kreative Krafts yesterday, a great little shop and picked up some early Christmas presents and a few supplies!!!

Finally just a few things I have seen on the internet this week that I would love to be able to do;




And I have bought the ingredients to make the gluten free Bramble cake that I had on holiday at Edinburgh Larder and who kindly posted the recipe for me on their facebook page:

It’s the time of beautiful Autumn berries and Jane asked if we could post our recipe for bramble cake so here it is – get picking – there’s loads of wild ones growing everywhere right now!

Bramble flan cake
You’ll need 250g of brambles tossed in just enough caster sugar to coat them and:
• 200g butter, plus a little more for the flan tin
• 200g caster sugar
• 3 eggs
• 200g ground almonds
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1.Preheat the oven to 180 degrees/gas mark 4.

2. Butter a 25cm loose-bottomed round flan or cake tin and line the base with a circle of baking parchment.

3. Cream the butter and sugar in a food processor or with a hand beater until the mixture is pale.

4. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well and, after each addition, fold in some of the ground almonds and a few drops of vanilla extract.

5. Put the mixture into the flan tin and scatter over the brambles. Their flavour is intense, so you don’t need to use more fruit than this.

6. Cook for 30 minutes until golden and just firm.

Other berries can be used for topping eg blackcurrants

All I need now is some help and for the oven to be free, so will be after tea now.

Well as Emily is at a party, just had her face painted (picture sent by Rob who is with her) I had better go and get some rest or they will be back before I am ready.

Watched the end of the Great North Run mens race just before they went out, how close was that?! Well done Mo Farah.

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