I want to resign!

The other day having a conversation with Rob as I was upset that I rarely get to do things I want or enjoy doing cos I am too worn out form doing every day stuff and was saying that people who work full time and do all their own housework get more pleasurable things done than me. Rob said being ill was my job and it takes all my time and energy, I wasn’t really sure what to make of that! He manages to work full time, to be out several nights a week and do things he wants to do as well as looking after me and Emily when needed. If this is my job it is the worse job in the world no job satisfaction, no reward (payment), no time off, no option to change jobs. Even if you are in a job you don’t like at least you get paid and feel you are doing something and if things are really bad you can leave and find something else.
Last week a job advert landed on my Facebook feed:

“Communications and Campaigns Officer (Ref: CCO 2015)
14 hours p/w, location to be negotiated (office or homebased) £24,492 -£28,922 pro rata depending on qualifications and experience Additional London weighting available to candidates from London Play England are looking for someone to develop and implement a communications and campaigns strategy to support the Street Play project funded by the Department of Health. The post holder will work with colleagues in Playing Out and London Play to support a national campaign to promote street play to create the conditions and encourage more children to play out more often. The successful candidate will have experience of managing website content and ability to utilise social media and new technologies to increase reach of key messages, disseminate information and build partnerships.
This is a temporary post until 31 March 2016.  Play England welcomes applications from self-employed applicants and is also willing to consider secondments. Closing date: Monday 6 July 2015 Interviews: Thursday 16 July 2015″

I would love to do it and to anyone else it sounds a great job 14 hours a week, for me that is about 10 hours too many!! I even know the person who is advertising the job! But who would give me the job even if I was well enough having not worked for 15 years and being very out of date.

I came on the PC to post pictures of the things I have made in June, just to prove I actually did something and found that in my haste I have not got pictures of many of the things, so annoying as they were good too, even if I do say so myself, not something I do very often.
Any here are the ones I do have
Pattern from  Embroidery on Paper for Every Occasion Perfect Paperback – Sep 2004

by Joke De Vette (Author), Adriaan De Vette (Author)

Pattern from Dee Craft

Pattern from Ann’s Paper Art
I also made two hot air balloon cards with patterns from Dee Craft and this car pattern in green and added a roof to it.  So I did do something, but it doesn’t feel much.  I have a couple of orders for cards which I need to get on with as the longer I leave it the more pressure I will be under and only have myself to blame.
I am really down at the moment due to limitations, decisions that I have to make and how it affects my family.  The mindfulness has gone out the window as it’s so hard to live in the moment and appreciate what you are doing when you know there will be consequences.
I have just seen these graphics which I think I need to take on board more, but it’s still hard.

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